Is Therapy-Speak Empowering or Oversimplifying Our Emotional Lives?

As this language settles into daily life, it’s doing a bit of both: empowering people to name and validate their emotional experiences, while also raising eyebrows over its... let's say, enthusiastic overuse. A shared emotional vocabulary can foster connection—until it starts sounding like we’re all reading from the same script. Words that once carried weight risk becoming catchphrases, leaving us to wonder: is therapy-speak deepening our relationships, or just giving us clever ways to talk about ourselves?

THE EVOLUTION OF THERAPY-SPEAK
Therapy-speak didn’t appear overnight—though scrolling through TikTok, you could be forgiven for thinking otherwise. Its roots stretch back to the 1960s, when humanistic therapy championed self-awareness and emotional validation. Fast forward to the 1980s, and cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) added structured gems like “negative thought patterns” to the mix.

What began as clinical language designed to help people make sense of their inner world gradually seeped into everyday conversations. Then social media came along and gave it a megaphone. Now, it’s everywhere—from Netflix scripts to dating profiles where people casually reference attachment styles between swipes.

THERAPY-SPEAK IN THERAPY
I see this linguistic glow-up firsthand. Clients often arrive armed with insights from TikTok explainers, Instagram carousels, or even the occasional ChatGPT summary (guilty as charged). They’ll thoughtfully reflect on whether they’re experiencing ADHD traits, navigating a trauma bond, or dealing with a parent’s narcissistic tendencies.

And honestly? I love that people are more emotionally literate than ever. Having words to describe what once felt like a vague knot in the stomach is empowering.

But—because there’s always a but—sometimes these neatly packaged labels risk turning complex emotional landscapes into flat, ready-made narratives. I occasionally notice therapy-speak being used less as a tool for exploration and more like a well-rehearsed monologue. Commitment issues? No, it’s just an avoidant attachment style. Conflict? Obviously, their partner is a narcissist—Google said so.

Naming things is powerful. But therapy isn’t about collecting labels like merit badges. It’s about what comes after the naming—the messy, brave bit where insight turns into action.

So, when we catch ourselves explaining our lives in therapy terms, it’s worth wondering—not in a finger-wagging way, but with genuine curiosity—are we using this language to open doors, or to politely close them?

THERAPY-SPEAK IN SOCIAL MEDIA AND POP CULTURE
If therapy-speak had a launch party, social media was the host—and it’s been partying ever since. Platforms like TikTok and Instagram have turned phrases like #boundaries and #selfcare into viral mantras. Emotional wisdom, now available in bite-sized, aesthetically pleasing posts.

But here’s the thing about bite-sized advice—it’s easy to digest, but rarely filling. Quotes like “If it costs your peace, it’s too expensive” look great on a Pinterest board, but life isn’t always that straightforward. Sometimes, keeping the peace involves uncomfortable conversations, compromises, and moments where no hashtag can really capture the nuance.

Then there’s the rise of influencers moonlighting as therapists. Some offer thoughtful reflections; others serve up emotional fast food—quick, satisfying, but not exactly nourishing. And let’s not forget the memes. When “I’m going to self-regulate myself into oblivion” becomes a punchline, you know therapy-speak has truly arrived.

As Dr. Marc Brackett points out, reducing emotions to catchy content can flatten the richness of how we feel. So, next time you catch yourself nodding along to a viral quote, maybe pause and ask—not “Does this sound good?” but “Is this actually true for me?”

THERAPY-SPEAK IN RELATIONSHIPS
Few places showcase therapy-speak better than modern relationships. Suddenly, we’re not just arguing over who forgot to buy milk—we’re discussing emotional labour and attachment styles.

On the upside, this shared language helps people articulate needs and set boundaries in ways previous generations could only dream of. On the downside, it can turn disagreements into diagnostic sessions. Saying “I’m setting a boundary” can be healthy—or it can be the conversational equivalent of building a wall and hanging a "Do Not Disturb" sign.

There’s also a temptation to turn every minor squabble into a deep dive on childhood wounds. Not every forgotten text reply is a trigger. Sometimes, it's just... a forgotten text.

Therapy-speak can be a bridge to deeper understanding—or a shield we hide behind. The question isn’t whether you use it (we all do), but whether it’s helping you lean into connection—or letting you elegantly sidestep vulnerability.

WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?
Therapy-speak isn’t going anywhere—and nor should it. It’s given people tools to name, understand, and communicate their emotional world. But like any tool, it’s all in how you use it.

Emotional intelligence isn’t about dropping “gaslighting” into conversation or knowing when to declare a boundary. It’s about staying present when things get uncomfortable, resisting the urge to neatly label every feeling, and recognising that not everything fits into a snappy phrase.

Maybe the goal isn’t to speak fluent therapy-speak—but to remember that life, relationships, and emotions will always be a little messier than our best hashtags.

Because in the end, the real work isn’t in saying the words—it’s in living them.

// Nicola